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This article is out of universe from Kung Fu Panda. This subject has been distinguished as part of the real world and therefore should not be taken as part of the fictional universe of the Kung Fu Panda franchise. |
Episode title card
Written here is the full transcript of the episode "Challenge Day" from the Nickelodeon television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks.
Character dialogue lines were originally written by the episode's screenwriter, Scott Kreamer. Descriptions shown between italicized brackets were written by contributors of this article.
Act 1[]
[The episode opens up to Shifu giving the Furious Five a kung fu lesson in the Training Hall.]
SHIFU
That's it, only by achieving inner peace, can a true kung fu master unfold, like a lotus flower.
[The scene cuts to Po, struggling with something in the Training Hall courtyard.]
PO
That all you got?!
[Po is thrown around by his adversary.
The scene cuts back to Shifu and the Five in the Training Hall.]
SHIFU
Calm, peaceful, relaxed. [Gasp] Where's Po?
[The scene cuts back to Po being thrown around.]
PO
It's gonna take more than that to defeat the Dragon Warrior.
[Po takes a stance and jumps toward his opponent. Shifu leaves the Training Hall.]
SHIFU
Everyone, get ready!
[The Five jump outside and prepare to fight. Po is revealed to be pulling a rope. Shifu becomes irritated upon realizing that Po is only setting up a hammock. Shifu and the Five approach Po.]
PO
C'mon, just... want... to take... a nap.
[Po successfully sets up the hammock.]
PO
Take that... hammock!
[Po turns toward Shifu and the Five.]
PO
Oh, hey guys. [Chuckles] How goes the meditating?
MANTIS
It was fine, until we rushed to save you from your attacker.
PO
Huh? Oh yeah, sweet hammock, huh?
[Po jumps onto the hammock. The hammock repels Po and throws him into the Five, knocking them down. Po bounces back to the hammock and becomes tangled in it.]
PO
Oh, there we go. See? Guys.
[Po looks over to Tigress and Monkey as the rest of the Five fall out of the sky. Po covers his eyes and cringes.]
TIGRESS
Master Shifu, can we postpone meditation and head into the Training Hall? Suddenly I'm in the mood to hit something.
[The Five head into the Training Hall.]
PO
Someone needs to work on her inner peace and outer hostility.
SHIFU
Since you skipped meditation, will you be joining us in the Training Hall?
[Po gets up from the hammock.]
PO
Yeah, I kinda pulled my glutinous maximus wrestling with the hammock here so uh, I think I'll just chill a little.
[Po lays back down.]
SHIFU
Po, napping is not what being the Dragon Warrior is about.
PO
Are you sure? I mean, let's talk about this after my nap. I mean, I'll still be the Dragon Warrior when I wake up, right? It's not like I'll suddenly be unchosen by the universe.
[Po falls asleep and begins snoring loudly. The hammock tears under Po's weight, but he remains asleep. Zeng approaches.]
ZENG
Your tea, Master Shifu. Something the matter?
SHIFU
[Sighs.] It's the panda, he seems to have forgotten what it means to be the Dragon Warrior. I need to find a way to shake him from his... complacency.
ZENG
Heh, good luck.
[Shifu glares at Zeng, causing him to drop the tea.]
ZENG
It's just that, well, even if he doesn't do his meditating or his training or, well, anything, he's still the Dragon Warrior.
SHIFU
[Sigh.] You're right, Zeng. Unless... Zeng, I have an important message for you to take to the village.
[Shifu and the Five meet in front of the Hall of Warriors.]
TIGRESS
You want us to go spend the day at the Zhu Jian Hot Springs?
SHIFU
Yes, you've all been training really hard and deserve a day of relaxation.
TIGRESS
What does that mean?
SHIFU
It's just that I appreciate...
TIGRESS
No, what does "relaxation" mean?
CRANE
I'll explain it to you on the way.
[Crane leads Tigress away.]
MANTIS
What about Po?
SHIFU
He's not going.
[Mantis and Viper leave.]
MONKEY
Does he know that?
[Monkey leaves. Po arrives with a towel and a rice hat.]
PO
Zhu Jian Hot Springs! I can already feel your bubbles tickling my tushy.
SHIFU
You're staying here.
[Shifu walks away. Po is shocked.]
PO
Oh no!
[The two walk into the Hall of Warriors.]
PO
Aw, I really need a break. I was dreaming all night that I was awake. It was exhausting!
SHIFU
I have urgent Dragon Warrior business for you to handle.
PO
Dragon Warrior business? Sweet. What do we got? Roving bandits? Kidnapped princess? Undead vampire warriors feasting upon the living?
[Shifu motions for Po to come closer. Po comes closer to Shifu. Shifu looks around.]
SHIFU
I need you to go to the village and get me... an apple.
PO
An apple?
SHIFU
An apple.
PO
An apple?
SHIFU
An apple.
PO
An apple?
SHIFU
An apple.
PO
An apple?
SHIFU
An apple.
PO
I'm sorry, an apple?
SHIFU
An apple.
PO
An apple?
SHIFU
An apple.
PO
'Cause I could do more than that.
SHIFU
I know, just an apple will do.
PO
Seriously?
SHIFU
Yes.
PO
Really?
SHIFU
Yes.
PO
I mean, just like red?
SHIFU
Any kind of apple will do.
[Shifu turns around.]
PO
You mean you just want me to go and...
SHIFU
Get an apple.
PO
An apple?
[Shifu walks away.
Po arrives at an apple cart in the village.]
PO
Get him an apple? What's-What's so important about that?
[Po is caught off guard when he turns and sees a pig child silently glaring at him. He tries to ignore the pig, but the pig attacks him, knocking him down. Po is able to get a hold of the pig.]
PO
Hey, what's going on, little guy? Had a bad day?
[Po lets the child walk away. He turns back to see the apple cart owner.]
PO
Uh, hey, Muh Lin I'll take one of the...
[Muh Lin slaps Po's hand when he reaches for an apple.]
PO
Uh, butterfingers, huh? I just need one of those...
[Muh Lin prevents Po from grabbing an apple, blocking his hands. Po eventually grabs an apple, only to get kicked in the face by the duck. Po gets into a fight with Muh Lin.]
PO
Easy, don't wanna hurt you. Just calm down.
[Muh Lin bounces off of Po's belly and crashes into the apple cart. Po nervously walks away.]
PO
I'll uh... I'll just get one down the-- down the street. And uh...
[Po steps in a bucket of paint, only to be scowled upon by a pig painter.]
PO
Oh, sorry! Sorry!
[The bucket remains stuck to Po's foot as the pig begins attacking him. Po kicks the pig with the paint bucket. The pig slams into a wall and gets covered with paint.]
PO
Uh, missed a spot. What's gotten into--
[Po turns to see a crowd of angry villagers.]
PO
...Everybody? Okay, good to see you all. Something a little... weird seems to be going on here and uh, not sure...
[Po runs away only to encounter another crowd of scowling villager.]
PO
Okay.
[Po begins running away, but he gets blocked by the other crowd of villagers. Po runs in another direction. Fang jumps out from behind a wall.]
FANG
Po, over here!
[Po goes and hides with Fang. The crowds of villager pass by.]
PO
Oh, thanks, Fang.
[Fang starts attacking Po.]
PO
Ow! Quit it!
[Fang hits Po with weak punches to the stomach.]
PO
H-Hey, that tickles!
[Fang bites Po.]
PO
Ow, that doesn't! Ow, don't!
[Po grabs Fang and sets him down. Shifu and Zeng arrive.]
SHIFU
I'm still waiting for my apple, panda.
[Po bows to Shifu.]
PO
Master Shifu, uh, I'm having that nightmare where everyone attacks me while I'm naked.
SHIFU
Po, you're wearing pants.
PO
Should I take these off then? Or...
[Zeng shields his eyes when Po nearly pulls his pants down.]
SHIFU
No, you're awake, panda. I forgot to tell you that today is Dragon Warrior Challenge Day.
PO
Dragon Warrior Challenge Day? Does this have anything to do with me not getting your apple?
SHIFU
Forget the apple. I was going through the old texts and discovered that on the hundredth day of being Dragon Warrior, anyone can challenge you. Listen carefully, if you're defeated before sunset, the victor takes your title.
PO
Oh, good I... Wait, what?! I could lose my Dragon Warrior-shipdom? That's terrible.
SHIFU
And you're not up to the challenge?
PO
What? What me? No-no, I'm up to it. It's just, you know, today is...
[Po peeks over toward the villagers. The villagers quickly turn and glance at Po. Po continues hiding.]
PO
I'm doin' it. I just gotta, you know, psych myself up.
[Zeng gains a look of uncertainty as Po begin clumsily limbering up.]
PO
How d'ya like me now, Apple cart duck? Didn't see that coming, did ya' Ling the shoemaker? Bring it!
[Po jumps out of hiding and starts fighting the villagers.]
SHIFU
He doesn't seem so complacent anymore, huh, Zeng?
[Po runs by with the villagers chasing him.]
ZENG
Uh, no sir. But, uh...
SHIFU
Yes, Zeng?
ZENG
Uh, it's just that, uh, it's a lie.
SHIFU
It's a lesson, this is just the thing to make him take being Dragon Warrior seriously, and keep his pants on.
[Shifu and Zeng start walking.]
SHIFU
Relax, Zeng. With the Furious Five gone, there is no one in the village strong enough to beat Po.
[Meanwhile, at Chorh-Gom Prison, Hundun plots against Po.]
HUNDUN
Soon, Po, you will know the revenge of my vengeance.
[Hundun starts sanding a fake horn.]
HUNDUN
Everyday, I grow stronger, while you grow softer like a soft and lazy pillow stuffed with soft and lazy. One day...
[Two guards approach outside of the cell door.]
RHINO GUARD 1
Give it a rest already, Hundun! Everyday the same thing, Po this, Po that, bla, bla, bla, Po.
HUNDUN
I thought you were interested.
RHINO GUARD 1
Maybe the first hundred times. Finally, I gotta get out of here.
RHINO GUARD 2
Old no-horn talking your ear off again. Well you're gonna love this, Hundun, word is, anyone who can defeat Po before sundown, becomes the Dragon Warrior.
[Hundun is struck with surprise.]
RHINO GUARD 1
Too bad you're locked up in here carving fake horns, instead of out there fighting your sworn enemy.
[Hundun approaches the cell door.]
HUNDUN
Yes, too bad. Care to look at my latest horn? I've just finished it.
[Hundun sticks his new horn out of the barred door.]
RHINO GUARD 1
What's this made out of, huh?
HUNDUN
You'd be surprised what you could scrounge up around here with a little scrounging.
[Hundun hands the guards the fake horn. One of the guards sees a piece hanging off of the horn.]
RHINO GUARD 1
Eww, what's that?
[The guard moves the piece, revealing it to be a switch. Hundun smiles in his cell as a high pitched beeping sound is heard. The horn explodes, breaking the cell door.]
HUNDUN
Beat the Dragon Warrior and take his title! I will crush him and pluck his title like I pluck a yam from a tree and squeeze its squishiness, the way one would squeeze a squishy yam of revenge! Ready or not, Po, here I come.
[Hundun puts on a fake horn and leaves.]
[End of Act 1]
Act 2[]
[Po sneaks through the village. He comes out into the middle of the village and performs some stances. Po becomes confused when the village appears empty.]
PO
Huh? Where'd everybody go?
MRS. YOON
Hello, Po.
[Po quickly turns and nearly hits Mrs. Yoon.]
PO
Oh, hey, Mrs. Yoon! Can I give you a hand with that?
[Po takes a large basket from Mrs. Yoon.]
MRS. YOON
Oh, thank you, Po. You're always such a good boy. How are things?
PO
To be honest, has been...
[Mrs. Yoon hits Po with a parasol. Po falls forward. Mrs. Yoon jumps on Po and hits his head against the ground.]
MRS. YOON
Oh, how often does an old women, like me, have a chance to become Dragon Warrior. You... understand... dear?
[Mrs. Yoon continues hitting Po's face against the ground, until he does a back flip and crushes her.]
PO
You okay Mrs. Yoon?
[Po gets up.]
MRS. YOON
Oh, fine, dear. Give my best to your father.
[Po arrives at the Noodle Shop.]
PO
Dad, are you...
[Mr. Ping immediately starts throwing woks at Po when he walks in.]
PO
Dad! You too?!
[Mr. Ping continues throwing woks.]
MR. PING
Imagine all the business I'd get if I were Dragon Warrior.
[Mr. Ping approaches Po with two woks.]
PO
But, dad, if you were Dragon Warrior, you wouldn't have time to... run the Noodle Shop. You'd have to give it up!
MR. PING
Give up the Noodle Shop? Ah, never. We'll call it a draw.
[Po shakes Mr. Ping's hand. Mr. Ping hits Po with the wok one last time.]
PO
Ow!
[Mr. Ping starts cutting vegetables.]
PO
This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
[A crowd of villagers busts into the Noodle Shop.]
VILLAGER
Get him!
PO
Here we go, again.
[Po scales up the side of the Noodle Ship and jumps onto the main road. A band starts playing music in a large crowd of villagers. The band members run at Po, with their instruments ready to be used as weapons. Po grabs an instrument and uses it to aid him in his fight, as many other villagers start taking him on.]
PO
That's what I'm talkin' about.
[More villagers attack Po, jumping on his face. Fang stands on a nearby roof.]
FANG
Po will never expect an attack from above. I'm gonna be Dragon Warrior.
[Fang jumps on a chimney above Po. Po continues fighting off the villagers. He grabs a goat in the middle of the brawl.]
PO
Uh, Mr. Liu, that hammock you sold me is a wee bit temperamental.
FANG
Time for...
[The chimney falls, sending Fang down. Po catches Fang. Po looks up and sees that the chimney is about to crush them.]
PO
This is gonna sting.
[Po bends over Fang to shield him as the chimney falls. Po is crushed by the chimney, but Fang is okay, and Po lets him walk over to his mother. Po gets up in a daze.]
PO
Everybody... okay? I uh,
[Po falls, unable to walk, due to his hurt leg.]
PO
Ow, my leg! Gonna... need that.
[Po spits out a tooth.]
PO
Oh, and that.
[The villagers start to feel for Po as he stands back up to continue fighting.]
PO
Okay, it's gonna be tough to fight you all with one leg.
VILLAGER
No more fighting. You saved the boy and have proven, once again, the reason you are our Dragon Warrior.
[Fang and his mother bow to Po. Po bows back.]
HUNDUN
You mean was your Dragon Warrior.
PO
Hundun?!
[Hundun sneaks up behind Po and punches him a good distance down the street. Hundun grabs a young bunny.]
HUNDUN
You didn't think I'd miss out on a chance like challenge day, did you?
[Hundun throws the bunny. Hundun kicks Po a further distance.]
PO
Hundun, do you really wanna say you only beat me 'cause I'm hurt and exhausted?
HUNDUN
I'm good with that.
[Hundun kicks Po.]
PO
One second, I'm gonna...
[Hundun kicks Po further. The villagers gasp.]
PO
Just gotta... catch my breath
[With one more kick, Hundun knocks out Po.]
HUNDUN
All hail me, the new Dragon Warrior of the Valley of Peace's Dragon Warrior!
[In the Hall of Warriors, Shifu and Zeng eat near the Moon Pool. A panda-shaped shadow hangs over the two when the doors open.]
SHIFU
Did you enjoy Challenge Day, Dragon Warrior?
[The shadow turns to reveal the shape of a rhino.]
HUNDUN
More than you could imagine.
[Shifu turns around.]
SHIFU
Hundun!
HUNDUN
Bow to your new Dragon Warrior.
SHIFU
You... defeated Po?!
[Hundun grins.]
SHIFU
No matter, there is no Challenge Day, I made it up. You're no more Dragon Warrior than Zeng there.
HUNDUN
What?!
ZENG
Uh, I could'a if I wanted.
[Hundun hits himself.]
HUNDUN
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why do I keep thinking good things can happen to me?! (Sobbing) A stupid rhino with no horn and dry, cracked feet like cracked... Wait a minute, if no one else knows that you made it up, and they don't find out then the lie will actually work as truthfully as if it were actually the truthful truth!
[Shifu becomes confused.]
HUNDUN
If everyone believes that I'm Dragon Warrior, and you're the only one that can tell them different...
[Shifu and Hundun begin fighting. Shifu lands some hits, but they eventually become evenly matched when Shifu pushes his staff at Hundun, and Hundun pushes back with the same amount of force.]
SHIFU
You'll have to do better than that, Hundun!
HUNDUN
Fine, how 'bout this?
[Hundun's horn opens up and fires several arrows at Shifu. The arrows pierce Shifu and knock him out. Hundun grabs Shifu and throws him into a cabinet. Hundun glances at Zeng. Zeng walks over to the cabinet and closes himself in.]
HUNDUN
I am the Dragon Warrior!
[End of Act 2]
Act 3[]
[The act opens up with a 2-D animated sequence. Po is defeated by Hundun.]
PO (VOICE OVER)
On that fateful Challenge Day, Hundun was victorious.
HUNDUN
I am the Dragon Warrior!
[Hundun laughs and stands victorious. The villagers are fearful of Hundun.]
PO (V.O.)
And so ended the reign of the once proud Dragon Warrior.
[Po walks away from Hundun in defeat.]
PO (V.O.)
He lived out his days, as as a decidedly un-awesome waiter, at his father's Noodle Shop.
[Po wears an apron and holds stacks of bowls when many customers arrive at the Noodle Shop.]
PO (V.O.)
Without a skosh of bodacity, he ended up on the streets, alone, pitied, and unloved.
[Po sits out in the rain.]
PO (V.O.)
Then, when things were at their darkest... all his hair fell out.
[Po becomes bald and begins shivering.]
MR. PING (V.O.)
Okay, okay, enough already!
[The 2-D animation ends. Po lays on his bed in the Noodle Shop. Mr. Ping arrives with a bowl of noodles.]
MR. PING
It's only been twenty minutes. You're so over dramatic!
PO
I failed, dad. I was the Dragon Warrior, and I lost it! Who does that?! Me.
MR. PING
But, Po, it's not your fault you lost to Hundun, a chimney fell on you. Everyone knows chimneys are evil, and not to be trusted.
[Mr. Ping looks out the window toward a chimney.]
MR. PING
I'm watching you!
PO
It's not the chimney's fault, dad.
MR. PING
Ha, that's what the chimney wants you to think!
[Some noise and crashing is heard outside.]
VILLAGER
Lookout, it's Hundun!
[Hundun storms into the village.]
HUNDUN
Out of my way! You!
[Hundun points to Mrs. Yoon.]
HUNDUN
Yes, you there, don't look at me!
[Hundun continues tormenting villagers.]
HUNDUN
You wretches have had it easy for far too long.
[Hundun destroys an instrument and grabs Apple cart duck by the neck.]
HUNDUN
From now on you will give me a hundred free apples a week.
APPLE CART DUCK
Yes, Mr. Dragon Warrior, your excellency, highness.
HUNDUN
What have you got there, old lady?
[Hundun drops the apple cart duck.]
MRS. YOON
Oh, uh, just the steamed buns I sell to pay the rent on my humble mud hut.
[Hundun takes the basket of buns from Mrs. Yoon and eats them.]
HUNDUN
These are the Dragon Warrior's steamed buns. Don't you get that? You own nothing! This is my village, my apples, my buns! [Laughs]
[Po sighs in his room as he watches Hundun take over the village.]
MR. PING
Son, what are you doing? Hundun is wrecking our village, help them!
PO
What am I gonna do, dad, huh? He's the Dragon Warrior now.
MR. PING
Oh, Po. Well the world needs waiters too.
[Fang sneaks into Po's room from the window.]
FANG
I'm gonna defeat the Dragon Warrior!
PO
Uh, hate to break it to you, Fang, but you're a little late.
FANG
I don't wanna fight you! I wanna fight Hundun, the Dragon Warrior! There's still time, the sun hasn't set, I gotta hurry!
[Fang leaves.]
PO
[Gasp] I still have time, dad. I can still beat Hundun!
HUNDUN
I will tear you apart, you insolent bunny.
PO
Maybe not as much time as I thought.
[Po stands up and falls down.
Outside, Fang punches Hundun, with no effect. .]
FANG
Uh-oh.
[Fang tries to run away, but Hundun picks him up.]
HUNDUN
You dare treat the Dragon Warrior with such disrespectful un-respecting?
FANG
You bet I do!
[Fang kicks Hundun on the horn.]
HUNDUN
(Nasally) Ow, you're gonna pay for that, boy! (Normal) After I crush you, I'm gonna crush this whole sorry village.
PO
You like picking on adorable, furry creatures, Hundun?
[Hundun turns around to see Po with a crutch.]
PO
Well I got your adorable furry creature right here!
[Po and Hundun start fighting. Po kicks Hundun, freeing Fang. Po grabs Hundun by the horn with his crutch. Po kicks Hundun and sends him away.]
PO
Now maybe you'll think twice before...
[Hundun charges toward Po. Po runs away, but he is hit. Po is able to move before Hundun charges into a wall. Hundun turns toward Po with the crutch hanging on his horn.]
HUNDUN
You have no chance, Po! You taught me your Kung Fu secrets long ago.
[Hundun tosses the crutch away.]
PO
Hey! That crutch was a gift!
HUNDUN
Since humiliating you didn't work, we'll have to do this the old fashioned way.
[Hundun swaps out his horn for a blade.]
HUNDUN
Destroying you!
[Hundun charges with the blade pointing toward Po. Po's only cover is cart, which Hundun quickly cuts in half. Hundun hits Po into a wall. Hundun runs toward Po and kicks. Po dodges the kick. Hundun charges toward Po again and performs an elaborate combo on Po. Hundun punches Po in the face several times, he then throws Po in the air and kicks him into a wall.]
PO
Can't... hold out... much longer.
[Hundun prevents Po from getting up by stepping on his back.]
HUNDUN
Perfect. Now can enjoy your permanent nap of permanence, which is long without ending... permanently.
[Hundun walks away. Po.]
PO
No, this can't be happening. And I can't let it happen.
[Po stands up.]
PO
I've had enough of this, Hundun. I hope you won't be too sad about not being the Dragon Warrior anymore.
[Hundun puts on his normal horn.]
HUNDUN
Too late, the sun has set.
VILLAGER
No it hasn't.
[A few seconds pass and the sun slowly hides behind the mountains.]
VILLAGER
Okay, now it's set.
HUNDUN
I am now, and always will be the Dragon Warrior! [Laughs]
PO
No!
HUNDUN
What d'ya mean "no"? You lost you're title, loser.
PO
It's not about the title. It's about what's right.
[Hundun charges toward Po. Po walks over to a hammock.]
PO
Mr. Liu, I need your hammock!
[Po uses the hammock to fling into Hundun. Hundun crashes through the walls of a house. Po and the villagers cheer.]
PO
Yes!
[Po collapses when he stands up.
Later that night, Po arrives at the Jade Palace. He walks into the Hall of Warriors.]
PO
Master Shifu!
ZENG
...Zebra Bamboo, Fountain Bamboo, uh, Giant Bamboo, Arrow Bamboo...
[Po hears Zeng speaking from inside the cabinet.]
ZENG
...uh, Incense Bamboo, uh, Corduroy Bamboo, uh...
[Po opens the cabinet.]
SHIFU
Oh, Po, you succeeded! Thank goodness. Turns out, Zeng knows all twelve-hundred varieties of bamboo, unfortunately.
[Zeng scowls at Shifu as he leaves.]
PO
No, Master Shifu, I failed! The sun had already set before I could beat Hundun. I never should have taken being Dragon Warrior for granted. It was a gift I was given, and I ruined it.
SHIFU
Hmm, well, you learned something valuable from it, that's good, very good, excellent even. It completely makes up for the fact that Challenge Day was a teeny-weeny bit made up.
PO
I'm sorry, what?
SHIFU
I made it up. See you tomorrow.
[Shifu walks away.]
PO
Wait, what?!
[Po follows Shifu.]
PO
So, you lied to me. That's... awesome! You're not perfect!
SHIFU
No, no, I'm still perfect.
PO
Yeah, right.
[The Five arrive at the palace and walk up the stairs.]
TIGRESS
Heh, that was supposed to be fun?
MANTIS
It was, until you got us kicked out. Did you really have to hit that guy?
TIGRESS
Hey, he attacked me with a weapon.
MANTIS
It's called a towel.
MONKEY
Oh, I'm beat. I bet Po is already fast asleep.
MANTIS
I don't think so, look.
[The Five look over to see Po and Shifu doing Tai Chi.]
TIGRESS
Po training this late? Wonder what got into him.
[Po and Shifu laugh.]
[End of Act 3]
[End of Transcript]