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Episode title card
Written here is the full transcript of the episode "Goose Chase" from the Nickelodeon television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks.
Character dialogue lines were originally written by the episode's screenwriter, Doug Langdale. Descriptions shown between italicized brackets were written by contributors of this article.
Act 1[]
[The episode begins with a 2D animation that shows a flashback of a young Shifu. Young Shifu was balancing three bowls. Rain comes falling down until someone holding an umbrella comes up to Shifu. He smiles and looks at a sun bear named Xinshi. Xinshi was now wrapping a bandage around young Shifu. Then we cut to where Shifu and Xinshi are playing with action figures. Oogway comes walking by and Xinshi quickly grabs the action figures and hides them. Oogway turns around and they bow to him. The flashback then changes to Shifu and Xinshi having tea. Xinshi makes a goofy face at Shifu as he laughs as tea comes out of his nose. The flashback ends.]
Shifu
When I was young, there was someone in the Jade Palace who always looked out for me. His name was Xinshi, and he was my friend. We were inseparable. He was the only one who could make me laugh.
Po
Wait, wait, wait. You laughed?
[As Shifu talks to Po, Po puts away some dishes.]
Shifu
Eventually, Xinshi left to work with for Emperor. I haven't seen him in years, but we kept in touch. Not long ago, Temutai and his Qidan warriors were planning to attack China.
Po
Man, I hated when people attack China!
Shifu
Xinshi caught wind in the plot and it was foiled. Temutai has sworn revenge.
Po
So we're gonna protect your buddy. [laughs] Anybody gets near him and I'll be all like "What? What?". [does his kung fu move and makes sounds]
Shifu
[annoyed] Yes! But first, we have to find him. Xinshi has gone into hiding. I'm inspecting a message from him for his locationg, but Zeng is late. Again as usual.
Po
[sits down] Come on, Zeng does his best.
Shifu
Which isn't good enough. He's less reliable than that chair.
Po
Wait, this?
[Suddenly, the chair breaks, causing the plates to fall and break on top of Po. A cabinet door falls on him as well. Shifu gets out of his seat and goes to find Zeng along with Po.]
Shifu
Let's go find Zeng. Who knows what kind of trouble he's gotten himself into.
[The scene changes to Zeng screaming in shock. But it turns out he was at Mr. Ping's noodle shop. Mr. Ping is holding a bowl of noodles.]
Zeng
You discontinued the spicy noodles?! Those were my favorite.
Mr. Ping
You'll eat plain noodles and like it, lacky! [throws the bowl and walks away]
Shifu
[off screen] Zeng!
[The camera pans to Shifu and Po. Shifu looks upest. Zeng pulls out the message and falls off his chair, but gets back up.]
Zeng
Master Shifu! I was just bring you the...
Shifu
In the middle of delivering a life or death message, you stopped for a snack?!
Zeng
But I was just...
Shifu
Of all the inept, blundering, useless, incompetent, bubbling, selfish, deter headed, dimwitted, self serving, idiotic...
[All these insults caused Zeng to snap.]
Zeng
It was my lunch break! I do, and I do, and I do for you. I deliver messages, I mop the floor, I massage your feet!
Po
[disgusted] Ew.
Zeng
I just traveled over two hundred miles with your stupid message, and I want is my spicy noodles! Can't you even let me have that?
Shifu
No! I need that message now.
Zeng
Relax. I got it right here, okay? Nothing's gonna happen to it.
[Suddenly, Temutai appears with a spear to grab the message off of Zeng.]
Temutai
At last. I have the location of treasuries Xinshi. My revenge will be sweet!
Po
Not if I have- [gets punched by Temutai's warriors]
Temutai
It's polite to let him finish. But I find you your in enthusiasm!
[The warrior smiles nervously until Po kicks up down. Po attacks Temutai for the message.]
Mr. Ping
Stop that! No more kung fu fights in here!
[Po and Temutai looks at the poster that just looks like them. They look at Mr. Ping again, realizing that they can't fight in there. So they exit the shop and gets ready to battle for the message.]
Shifu
We'll take that message.
Temutai
I don't think so!
Po
Come on, boys, my knuckles are hungry.
[The battle begins; Shifu takes down a Qidan warrior as Temutai pushes Po with his spear and his warriors take him. But Po gets out and kicks them. Another Qidan warrior uses a spear to attack, but Po dodges and Shifu kicks the warrior. Po runs up to Temutai with the message. But Temutai tosses it to one of his warriors.]
Temutai
Keep away. [One of the warrios has it in his hands and tosses it to another warrior. He runs away from Po, but Shifu stops him. The warrior tosses the message to another warrior. Po keeps running back and forward to get the message until he grabs one of the warriors throws him at another one. The message is now in some bamboo trees. Temutai laughs.] Time to choose. The message. Or the messager!
[Temutai knocks down the water tower with Zeng tied up to it.]
Po
Zeng, get out of there!
Zeng
I can't!
[Po runs to the water tower and quickly holds onto it.]
Po
Shifu!
[Shifu was seen getting the message, but upon hearing Po, he rushes over to the water tower and rescues Zeng. Temutai punches the bamboo tree and grabs the message. His warriors head off.]
Temutai
We will make Xinshi pay for what he has done. Pay the ultimate... price! [runs off with his warriors]
[As Po struggles to hold on to the water tower, Shifu frees Zeng. Zeng flies off. The water tower suddenly falls on Shifu.]
Po
Whoa. [ducks down to see if Shifu was okay] You okay, Shifu?
Shifu
What do you think? [Po puts on a worried face, thinking that Shifu is not okay. Zeng comes up to Po. The scene changes to Shifu in bandages as Zeng looks down on the floor in shame.] This is all do to your incompetents! Now Po will have to find Xinshi and protect him without me! If anything happens to him, I... [growls in anger and sighs] What do you have to say for yourself?
Zeng
I was really hungry?...
Shifu
Not good enough! Pack your things, Zeng. The Jade Palace no longer requires your so called services.
[Zeng puts on a shocked expression on his face.]
Po
Whoa, Shifu, don't think your?...
Zeng
You're... you're firing me?!
Shifu
Of course I am! And it's been a long time coming.
Zeng
Oh, yeah? Well, well, you're fired from my life!
Shifu
Very well then...
Zeng
Huh?
[Zeng begins to cry and makes goose sounds as he walks out of the Jade Palace. Po watches Zeng as he leaves. He then looks at Shifu, then Shifu points to Po to find Xinshi. Before doing so, he walks up to a crying Zeng.]
Po
Hey, Zeng, sorry about that. Come on, it's not that bad.
Zeng
Of course it's that bad! How could it be worse?
Po
You could have had a huge water tower fall on you. [Zeng cries again while making goose sounds.] This could be a great thing. You were always said you were under appreciated as a messager. Now you can be anything. The sky's the limit.
Zeng
[sniffles] Really?
Po
Absolutely! A smart capable duck like you...
Zeng
I'm a goose.
Po
...You can be a poet, or a carpenter, or a kung fu master, or...
Zeng
Ooh, do you really think I can be a kung fu master?
Po
Uh, hypothetically, yeah. [Zeng starts to cry again, thinking that he won't be a kung fu master.] Of course you can! And look at you! That perfect physique, that noble barring. You're a natural!
Zeng
Well, I guess if an over weight ungainly panda can be a kung fu master, I can too! I mean, just look at you. You're practically protask. [Po let's out a small laugh.] I'm gonna do it! And that will show Shifu!
Po
Good... plan. Let me know how it goes. Well, I gotta head out and find that Xinshi guy. [Po heads out to find Xinshi. But Zeng follows him bumps into him.] What are you doing?
Zeng
If I'm gonna be a kung fu master, I wanna start right away. And since thing with Xinshi is partly my fault...
Po
Entirely.
Zeng
...I should help fix it. So let's go, kung fu master buddy! [Zeng does kung fu moves and heads off. The scene changes to Po and Zeng walking through the forest.] Ooh! When I'm part of the Furious Five... [does kung fu moves again] I can boss around the Jade Palace staff like they do! Did you know that Mantis makes me do his laundry? I wash it in a tea cup. Hey, we'll have change the name the Furious Five; How about the Savage Six? Ooh, it will be so great!
Po
Yeah. Special.
Zeng
So, fellow kung fu master, how are we gonna find Xinshi?
Po
Well, Temutai and his warriors went this way. We just find some a few witnesses, ask a few questions.
Zeng
Maybe those guys saw them. [sees people going into a cabin] When I get through them, they'll be begging to tell us what we know. It's time for Zeng to bring the pain. [runs off]
Po
Oh no. Zeng. Zeng! No! [runs after Zeng]
Zeng
[kicks open the door] Kung fu master Zeng is here! Who wants to get there butt kicked?
Thug
Apparently, kung fu master Zeng does.
[The thugs gather around Zeng.]
[End of Act 1.]
Act 2[]
Coming soon!
Act 3[]
Coming soon!