Kung Fu Panda 2/Transcript

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This article is out of universe from Kung Fu Panda. This subject has been distinguished as part of the real world and therefore should not be taken as part of the fictional universe of the Kung Fu Panda franchise.

[Opens up to a narrated story, displayed in a 2D-animated shadow puppet show. Two peacocks, the rulers of Gongmen City overlook a majestic looking tower which serves as their palace.]

NARRATOR (SOOTHSAYER): Long ago, in ancient China, the peacocks ruled over Gongmen City. They brought great joy and prosperity to the city, for they had invented fireworks.

[Puppet citizens gather in the streets as colorful fireworks explode over the city. The scene then changes to a room in the palace: a young white peacock experiments with the gunpowder. A small explosion from the bowl surprises him, and then he smiles darkly. Lord and Lady Peacock witness this outside his room, and look at each other in concern.]

NARRATOR: But their son, Lord Shen, saw darker power in the fireworks. What had brought color and joy could also bring darkness and destruction.

[The scene switches to the throne room: Lord and Lady Peacock watch as the court Soothsayer puts two items into a small bowl and an apparition emerges. In the apparition, a white peacock is consumed by a Yin-Yang symbol.]

NARRATOR: Shen's troubled parents consulted a soothsayer. She foretold that if Shen continued down this dark path, he would be defeated by a warrior of black and white.

[Shen watches the scene from behind a pillar. He scowls and exits the palace with a small army of wolves. A moment later, the residents of a small panda village watch in horror as Shen sets his wolves on them.]

NARRATOR: The young lord set out to change his fate, but what he did next... only sealed it. [Back at the palace, Shen bursts in on his parents, triumphant. His expression changes when he sees the horror on the faces.] Shen returned to his parents full of pride, but in their faces, he only saw horror. [Outside the palace gates, Shen and his parents stand on opposite sides. Though the words are unheard, Shen's father declares him banished.] He was banished from the city forever.

[Shen furiously says words back before departing with his wolves. Lord and Lady Peacock's shoulders slump as they watch their son leave.]

NARRATOR: But Shen swore revenge: Someday, he would return, and all of China would bow at his feet.

[A door to the shadow puppet scene closes and then cuts to a foundry in the mountains. A pack of wolves are seen heaving, pounding, and burning metal. One of the wolves, a large soldier with one eye, jumps over to Shen and bows.]

BOSS WOLF: It's almost done, Lord Shen. But we've run out of metal.

SHEN: Search the farthest villages. Find more metal! China... will be mine.

[Cuts to the Jade Palace where two kids are seen playing with Po and Tigress action figures in the Training Hall's courtyard.]

BUNNY CHILD: And then, the Dragon Warrior joined the Furious Five!

PIG CHILD: And they became the most awesomest Kung Fu team ever!

BUNNY CHILD: [mimicking Po's voice] "Enough talk. Let's fight!"

[They play together with their action figures. Suddenly, voices and thumping sounds are heard coming from inside the Training Hall.]

BUNNY CHILD: Listen! Listen! You can hear the Dragon Warrior training right now!

[Inside the Training Hall, all the obstacles and other training equipment are seen as vacant. Meanwhile, the voices continue.]

FURIOUS FIVE: [in unison] 33...

[Bang!]

MANTIS: Stop him!

FURIOUS FIVE: 34...

[Bang!]

MANTIS: It's too dangerous!

FURIOUS FIVE: 35...

[Bang!]

TIGRESS: Stay focused!

FURIOUS FIVE: 36... [Bang!] 37... [Bang!]

[We see the Furious Five at last, staring in awe and fear at something in front of them.]

MANTIS: How is he doing that with his face?!

[Po is seen placing a bean bun in his mouth, which is already full of thirty-seven other bean buns. After putting in the bean bun, he smashes his fist on the table. Bang!]

PO: [with his mouth full] Thirty-eight bean buns!

[The five cheer while Viper briefly faints.]

MANTIS: Yes! New record! You monster!

MONKEY: Keep going! Hit forty! [Holds out bowl of bean buns.]

CRANE: He'll never hit forty!

PO: [Takes two bean buns from the plate.] You got it, buddy! I'll put it up to forty!

TIGRESS: Do it!

PO: No problem!

[He puts the two bean buns in his mouth and tries to close his mouth. He struggles. The Five watch in silent awe.]

PO: In a minute...

[When Po succeeds, he sticks his hands up in the air and begins cheering, while the Five cheer along with him.]

CRANE: [Approaches Po.] Well done, Po!

[Crane slaps Po on the back in congratulations, causing Po to spit the bean buns back at the Five. Monkey and Mantis are hit, while Viper ducks and Tigress blocks two of the buns.]

TIGRESS: Your training has paid off.

[A gong sounds in the distance.]

PO: Oh! Master Shifu! Gotta go. See you later! [Po points to the bowl of bean buns as he rushes out of the training hall.] You'll save those for me, right?

      [Po runs and jumps across waterfalls and rocks that lead to the Dragon Grotto. Meanwhile, a waterdrop falls from a stalactite inside the grotto. On a small island in the middle of the pool, Master Shifu meditates peacefully in front of a large dragon stature.]

SHIFU: Inner peace... [Blows deeply.] Inner peace...

[Po approaches offscreen... and we hear a splash as he slips. Shifu groans.] Inner peace... [Po appears].

PO: Master Shifu [Pants], Master Shifu. What do we got? Pirates? Vandals of Volcano Mountain? Whatever it is, I will take them down! Cause I'm in a mood. I need to get something done, you know what I mean? [Shifu still concentrates.] Uhhh, what are you doing?

SHIFU: One of Master Oogway's final teachings.

[Shifu looks up to a stalactite. The stalactite drops a droplet. When the droplet touches down, Shifu begins to do some moves and catches the droplet. He then guides the droplet through his arms then finally drops it to a small plant which drops the droplet to the water. Po is excited just at the sight of the water droplet.]

PO: Woah! Awesome! How... did you... do that?

SHIFU: Inner peace. [Smiles]

PO: Inner peace, that's cool! Inner piece of what?

SHIFU: It is the next phase of your training. Every master... [Shifu then appears and walks behing Po] must find his path... [Shifu then appears on a rock far away from Po, who is confused.] to inner peace. Some choose to medidate for 50 years in a cave just like this. [Shifu jumps to the water in front of the dragon sculpture then balances on his stick.] Without the slightest taste of food or water.

PO: [Stomach belches] Or?

SHIFU: Some find it through pain and suffering as I did. Po, the day you were chosen as Dragon Warrior... [Becomes depressed] was the worst day of my life. [Po scowls.] By far. Nothing else came close. It was the worst, most painful mind-destroying, horrible, moment

PO: Ok.

SHIFU: I have ever experienced [Shifu shudders then lightens]. But once I realized the problem was not you, but within me, I found inner peace, and was able to harness the flow of the universe.

PO: So that's it? I just need inner peace? My inners are already super, super peaceful. So all I need to do is just get this thing going! Inner peace, you're going down! Now show me what you were doing with your feet. I saw you just did a fancy foot...

TIGRESS: [Jumps in and interrupts] Po! Bandits, approaching the musicians' village!

PO: Danger! Tell those musicians to start playing some action music because it is on. [To Shifu] Don't worry, Master Shifu, I'll master inner peace as soon as I get back.

TIGRESS: No snack stops this time.

PO: Hahaha! Snack stops, pfft. Wait, are you serious?

[Shifu smiles as Po departs with Tigress and Crane.

[In the musicians village, a warning bell is rung by a terrified rabbit as a pig narrowly dodges a large arrow which embeds itself into the ground, connected to a higher cliff by a rope. Several arrows strike the rooftops and ground before Boss Wolf (the large one eyed wolf) and his soldiers' zipline down to the village.]

BOSS WOLF: Get all the metal you can find! [Villagers duck and flee as the wolves break into houses and grabs pots, pans and musical instruments.] Grab the metal!

PIG: Help, help, help, help, help! [The pig from earlier frantically climbs into a bell to hide... and is trapped inside as the bell is rolled towards the loot pile.]

BOSS WOLF: That's everything! Let's get out of here!

[The wolves tie the metal up into bundles.]

PIG: Oh no!

[Suddenly, we hear Po letting out a cry in the distance, also heard by Boss Wolf.]

PO: Wooooooooooooooohooo! [We see Po and the Five running along a cliffside to the village's aid.] Wings of justice! [Po dives off the cliff towards the village far below.] Yeeeeha... AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! [Po freaks as he realises his mistake, but Crane manages to catch him and drop him onto another cliff ledge. Po leaps off this smaller cliff and dives towards the village with the Five on either side, before landing (again with Crane's help) in front of the wolf soldiers.]

THE FURIOUS FIVE + PO: [Lands] Ha!

[Po is facing the wrong way.]

PO: Huh? [Switches round.] Ha!

VILLAGERS: Yay! The Dragon Warrior!

BOSS WOLF: Huh? A panda? That's impossible.

PO: My fist hungers for justice. [Stomach rumbles. The Five stare.] That was my... fist.

BOSS WOLF: Get him!

PO: C'mon!

[The forces clash. Po dodges every bladed attack.]

VILLAGERS: Ooooh! [Po kicks wolf into a gong: Yah!] Yay!

[Monkey claps cymbals around a wolf's head. Mantis carries a strumming bunny to safety, then shatters a wolf's two swords. Viper takes on two wolves.]

VIPER: Take that!

[Tigress dispatches three wolves. Three archers take aim and fire at Po.]

MANTIS: Po! Incoming! [Fling three disks to block the arrows.]

PO: Thanks, Mantis! [Begins to duel multiple wolves using two metal instruments, defending the strumming bunny in the process. He is soon set upon by a dozen wolves, narrowly dodges many projectiles and ending up on a roof.] Tigress, double death strike! [Tigress leaps towards Po just as he is becoming outnumbered and swings him in a circle, then launches him at a group of airborne wolves.] Ruaaaagh! Feet of fury! [He rapidly kicks the wolves out of air and lands. He then begins fighting the wolves in tandem with the five, calling out each of their names as they appear.] Tigress! Viper! Monkey! Mantis! Bunny! [Holds out strumming bunny.] Wha? Oh, sorry. [Punches wolf towards Boss Wolf.]

[Boss Wolf howls and the metal loot is pulled up the opposite cliff. The trapped pig screams as he is hauled upwards.]

PO: Crane, go!

CRANE: I'm on it! [Flies up and slices rope holding trapped pig. The pig screams as the bundle tumbles towards the abyss next to the cliff.]

PO: Hooh!

[He charges forward off the cliff, followed closely by Viper. He leaps off and grabs the pile of metal with the pig inside... Viper grabs his ankles... Monkey leaps off and grabs her tail... Tigress grabs his tail and pulls Po, Viper and Monkey back on land and Mantis stops the metal pile with the pig inside as it bounces. 'Po, Monkey and Viper land and approach the villagers.]

PO: Is everybody okay?

[The crowd cheers and Po smiles... but then Boss Wolf stands up and runs toward Po with a hammer] Don't worry, I got this! [He faces the wolf. Boss Wolf raises the hammer... and Po sees the symbol on Boss Wolf's shoulder. Instantly and suddenly flashbacks and sees a vague vision of a female panda leaving her infant son behind. Back in the real world, Tigress sees that something is wrong.]

TIGRESS: Po!

[Tigress jumps towards Po, but is too late as Boss Wolf hits Po across the face. The panda is launched in mid-air along with Tigress. Po and Tigress land on the bunnies.]

'BOSS WOLF:' Chew on that, tubby!

[Boss Wolf runs toward the remaining pile of metal and drops 2 other metal piles off the cliff while being pulled up and disappearing into the clouds. Meanwhile, Mantis pushes Po up, Tigress flips a bunny who is upside down, and Viper approaches Po.]

VIPER: Are you ok?

TIGRESS: What happened?

PO: [Rubs his jaw, stunned.) I think I saw... a figure.... I gotta go. [Runs offscreen.]

]Scene cuts to the entrance of Dragon Warrior Noodles and Tofu, where business is booming. Mr. Ping is saying goodbye to a pig exiting the restaurant.]

MR. PING: Thank for coming to Dragon Warrior Noodles and Tofu. [He serves another customer.] More lemon sauce? If you need something, just ask! Thank you! [A young bunny runs by with a Po action figure.]

BUNNY KID: Fist of Fury!!!

[A female bunny looks at a mop hanging on the wall.]

FEMALE BUNNY: The Dragon Warrior's mop! He mopped this very floor! [Mr. Ping interrupts as she moves to touch it.]

MR. PING: Ah! Ah! Ah! No touching! You'll get the mop dirty!

ADULT PIG #1: You know, he once waited on me!

ADULT PIG #2: Awesome!

ADULT PIG #1: Yeah, I have the stain to prove it! [Turns to Mr. Ping.] Hey, where is the Dragon Warrior?

MR. PING: Ohhhhhh, he doesn't work here anymore! He is busy out there, protecting the valley.

ADULT PIG #2: [Gasps] The Dragon Warrior!

[Everyone notices Po and bows to him.]

MR. PING: Po!

[Po waves to them and kisses a young rabbit held up by an adult rabbit. Mr. Ping runs to him.]

MR. PING: You should've told me you were coming! [Po hugs him.]

PO: Hi dad!

MR. PING: I would have saved you some stinky tofu!

PO: [Po carries the bowls and enters the kitchen.] Uhhh, dad, can I talk to you?

MR. PING: Of course son [He turns to the costumers.]. In honor of my son, free tofu desert for everybody! [Costumers cheer.] But with purchases. [Costumers frown.]

[Mr Ping follows Po inside and hugs him again.]

MR. PING: Oh it's so good to see you Po! Have you lost weight? I could almost put my wings around you!

PO: Ahhh, well, maybe a little.

MR. PING: Oh, poor you, you must be weak! Let me get you some soup [Starts chopping some vegetables.]

PO: Oh, that's okay dad, I'm not hungry.

MR. PING: Not hungry, Po, you alright?

PO: Yeah, yeah, no, I'm fine. It's just... Earlier today I was fighting this bandits...

MR. PING: [Partly listening.] Uhuh.

PO: Nothing too dangerous, they were just...

MR. PING: Yeah.

PO: Then the strangest thing happened. I had this crazy vision. I think I saw my mom... and me... as a baby...

[Mr Ping slows his chopping, as he registers what Po has said.]

MR. PING: Wa, Wa, Wow... a baby? [He is quickly overcome with fear.]

PO: Uh, dad, how do I say this... [He glances at a picture of a younger Po and Mr Ping.] Where did I come from?

[Mr. Ping's eyes widen. He turns to Po sadly and slowly.]

MR. PING: Well, you see, son, uhhh... baby geese come from a little egg. Don't ask me where the egg comes from!

PO: Dad! That's not what I meant!

MR. PING: I know it's not. I think it's time I told you something I should've told you a long time ago.

PO: [Nervous.] Okay...

MR. PING: You might have been kind of a... a... adopted!

PO: I knew it!

MR. PING: You knew? Oh who told you?

PO: No one, I mean, c'mon dad!

MR. PING: But if you knew, then why didn't ever say anything?

PO: Why didn't you say anything? [Pause.] How did I get here dad, where did I come from?

MR. PING: Actually, you came from this.

[Mr Ping pulls a radish basket from under the kitchen bench. Po clutches the basket as his father begins his tale.]

MR. PING: It was just another day at the restaurant, time to make the noodles...

[A flashback occurs. A younger Mr Ping goes into the back alley through the rear entrance to collect his vegetables. He notices that one of the crates is shaking.]

MR PING: I went out to the back, where my vegetables, has just been delivered. There were cabbages, turnips, radishes.

[Mr Ping approaches cautiously. The crate suddenly topples over, spilling several half-eaten radishes... and a dirty infant panda.]

MR. PING: Only, there were no radishes. Just a very hungry, baby panda.

[Mr Ping stares in surprise. The baby burps then rolls on his back, smiling sweetly. Mr Ping carefully walks round the baby and looks round the alley. There's no-one around.]

MR. PING: There was no note, of course, you could've eaten it. I waited for someone to come looking for you... but no one did.

[Mr Ping picks up one of his crates and begins walking back inside. The baby begins to whimper. His crying rises to a bawl, bringing Mr Ping to a stop. The child cries quietly for some time... until a radish gently rolls over to him. The baby brightens and grabs the radish while Mr Ping looks on nervously. The baby takes a huge bite out of the radish and flashes Mr Ping a cheeky grin. The goose smiles slightly, charmed.]

MR. PING: I brought you inside... [Mr Ping leads the infant inside the kitchen with a trail of dumplings.] fed you... [Mr Ping tosses the last dumpling into a small bathtub, prompting the child to climb inside. Mr Ping smiles as the baby begins happily nibbling on the dumpling.] gave you a bath... [Minutes later, Mr Ping is gently scrubbing the baby, whose face is the only thing visible in the mountain of soap suds. The child swallows a soap bubble and grimaces.] and fed you again... [After the bath, Mr Ping begins feeding the child soup. The baby ends up consuming the entire spoon. When Mr Ping takes it out again, he is dismayed to find it drenched in saliva.] and again... [Mr Ping then begins chopping vegetables rapidly, all the bits going straight into the baby's mouth. After feeding, Mr Ping approaches the baby with some pants.] I tried to put some pants on you.

[Before Mr Ping can put the pants on, the child begins playfully crawling around, bumping into a table and knocking over its contents before moving beneath a shelf and bumping his head, spilling dumplings and a wok which falls on his head. A concerned Mr Ping approaches as the child sits up and begins to cry. The goose grabs the wok, which is sitting on the child's head like a hat, and gently turns his head around. The baby whimpers before brightening up, giggling at Mr Ping. Mr Ping's heart melts completely.]

MR PING: And then I made a decision that would change my life forever...

[That evening, Mr Ping cooks up a bowl of noodle soup...] To make my soup without radishes... [And brings it to the baby, who is sitting in the radish crate which has been reconfigured into a makeshift crib.] and raise you as my own son. Xiao Po... my little panda [Mr Ping lovingly feeds Baby Po as the flashback ends.] And from that moment on, both my soup and my life have been that much sweeter.

[The present-day Mr Ping tears up as he strokes the edge of the basket.]

MR. PING: And, little Po, that's end of the story. Look at me! No, don't look at me.

PO: That's it? That can't be it! There's gotta be more, dad!

MR. PING: Well, there's that time you ate all my bamboo furniture. It was imported too. [A rabbit drops coins on the counter.]

BUNNY COSTUMER: One dumpling please, Dragon Warrior size! [Mr. Ping pulls out an over-sized dumpling and rolls it across the counter. The rabbit staggers under its weight.]

MR. PING: Oh Po, your story may not have such a happy beginning. But look how it turned out! You got me, you got kung fu, and you got noodles!

PO: I know, I just have so many questions: like how did I ever fit in this tiny basket... why didn't I like pants?

[Mr Ping looks at Po.]

PO: And who am I?

[Cut to Gongmen City. In the palace courtyard, Masters Storming Ox and Croc spar while Master Thundering Rhino oversees their training. Nearby, the Soothsayer watches among some bowls and incense. Meanwhile, outside the palace, a white peacock slowly marches towards the palace gates. The antelope guards in front of the gates aim their spears and charge at the peacock.

A second later, the guards are tossed to the floor, injured or worse, as the peacock marches by. Swiftly slicing through the bar holding the gates, the peacock kicks the doors open, attracting the attention of the kung fu masters and the Soothsayer. They recognise the intruder as he enters the courtyard.]

RHINO, OX & CROC: Shen?

SHEN: Good afternoon, gentlemen. Now that we've got the pleasantries out of the way... please leave my house.

OX: Your house?

SHEN: Yes, did you not see the peacock on the front door? Ah, there you are, Soothsayer... [He approaches the Soothsayer, who glares coldly back.] It seems that your fortune-telling skills were not as good as you thought.

SOOTHSAYER: We shall see, Shen.

SHEN: No, you shall see, old goat. [He turns back to the masters.] Now where were we?

RHINO: What do you want, Shen?

SHEN: What is rightfully mine... Gongmen City!

RHINO: Gongmen City is under the stewardship of the Master's Council, and we will protect it... even from you!

SHEN: [Laughs] I am so glad you feel that way... [At that moment, several wolves enter with a large wooden crate.] otherwise, I'd have dragged that here for nothing.

OX: What's in the box, Shen?

SHEN: You want to see? Oh, it's a gift. It's your parting gift... in that it will part you. Part of you here, part of you there, and part of you way over there staining the wall!

OX: You insolent fool!

[Ox leaps at Shen, who pulls out a rope dagger which wraps around Ox's horn and pulls him to the ground. Croc lunges at Shen, but is countered and has to deflect a barrage of knives with his sword. Shen battles and defeats the two warriors before turning to Rhino. The more powerful warrior deflects all knives with his hammer and horn and pushes Shen backwards with a thrust of his hammer, destroying his remaining knives.]

SHEN: Showoff.

RHINO: That is a warning. You are no match for our kung fu.

SHEN: I agree... but this is.

[He leaps backwards onto the wooden box, which falls apart to reveal... a dragon shaped cannon. Thundering Rhino prepares for combat. Shen lights a spark with his metal talons and... KABOOM!

[Cut to the Jade Palace. Po and the five are gathered in the arena, watching Shifu read the contents of a scroll.]

SHIFU: Are you familiar with the master of Gongmen City?

PO: You mean Master Thundering Rhino?

SHIFUl: Yes.

PO: Son of the legendary Flying Rhino?

SHIFU: Yes.

PO: And Slayer of the ten-thousand serpents of the Valley of Woe?

SHIFU: He's dead.

[Po and the five are shocked.]

CRANE: That's impossible!

TIGRESS: Rhino's Horn Defense is impervious to any technique!

SHIFU: This was no technique! Lord Shen had created a weapon. One that breathes fire and spits metal. Unless he is stopped... this could mean the end of kung fu.

PO: But I just got kung fu!

SHIFU: And now you must save it! Go! Destroy this weapon and bring Lord Shen to justice!

[The Furious Five instantly set off. Po makes to follow.]

PO: Yeah! Let's go, let's... [Stops dead.] whoa, whoa, whoa... how can I do this? How can kung fu stop something that stops kung fu?

SHIFU: Remember, Dragon Warrior. Anything is possible... when you have inner peace.

[Po smiles and sets off. Down in the village, the villagers cheer as Po and the Five begin their journey.]

PO: Inner peace... inner peace... inner peace... peace on!

MR. PING: Po wait!

[Po is caught off guard as he and the Five stop outside Mr Ping's shop. Mr Ping runs outside with a large backback, which upon being dropped on the ground spills a motherload of contents.]

MR. PING: I made you a travel pack! Look, I packed all your favorite foods, dumplings, biscuits... and I even packed your Furious Five action figures! [He pulls out action figures of Mantis and Tigress and holds up the Tigress figure.] see?

[Po is embarassed as Monkey laughs and Tigress smiles at Po and the figure in amusment.]

PO: Oh, I don't know what those are, never seen them before in my life... [As soon as Monkey and Tigress are offscreen, Po grabs the Tigress figure.] Dad, you got scratches on my Tigress!

[Mr Ping pulls out some 'snapshots'.]

MR. PING: I also packed some pictures of our best times together. Look, here's you and me making noodles... and here's you and me eating noodles... and here's me giving you a piggy back ride! [Mr Ping and Po look at a picture of Mr Ping squished under Baby Po.] Isn't that cute... on second thoughts, I'll hang on to this one.

PO: Dad, they need me.

MR. PING: Oh, I know. You have a job to do... so far from home... going to strange places... full of strange people... and strange noodles... facing unspeakable danger from which you might never return! Don't go, Po!

PO: I have to go. I'm the Dragon Warrior, it's sort of my job to save kung fu. And if I don't... what am I?

MR. PING: You're my son!

[Po doesn't answer. Mr Ping grows nervous.]

MR. PING: Right?

TIGRESS: Po, it's time.

PO: Er... goodbye.

[Tigress watches Po walk off with the pack, concerned. She smiles reassuringly at Mr Ping.]

TIGRESS: Don't worry, Mr Ping. He'll be back before you can say 'noodles'.

[Mr Ping watches sadly as Po and the Five leave the village.]

MR. PING: Noodles...

to be continued...

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