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Written here is the full transcript of the episode "Ladies of the Shade" from the Nickelodeon television series Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. This transcript has been separated into three segments, indicated accordingly to the episode's commercial breaks.
Character dialogue lines were originally written by the episode's screenwriter, Joshua Hamilton. Descriptions shown between italicized brackets were written by contributors of this article.
[In the village, villagers cheer as the Ladies of the Shade dance.]
PO: Hey, what's all the fuss...? [Po sees the Ladies dancing.] Woah!
MR. PING: Oh, Po, it's so beautiful!
PO: The dancing?
MR. PING: No, the potential customers! Now, get out there!
PO: I don't know, Dad.
MR. PING: [gasps] That's fine. After all I've done for my little boy, if the shop closes, I'll find work, maybe sweeping dirt from the corners of my broken heart...
PO: [Groans] Okay...
MR. PING: Great! [Mr. Ping gives Po a pullover sign, as well as a handheld sign.] You spin it! People love that! [Mr. Ping gives Po free noodle coupons.] And here are some free noodle coupons!
PO: Wait. Free noodles?!
MR. PING: No, free coupons!
[Po attempts to spin the sign.]
MR. PING: Don't forget the smile!
[The Ladies dance towards Po while the crowd cheers. The Ladies begin dancing around Po.]
PO: Wh... what? Okay...I'm not very good!
[Po attempts to dance with the Ladies. The villagers cheer.]
[Po spins the Noodle Shop sign above his head for the Ladies as they dance on it]
SONG: [A buffalo thief steals the Ladies' belongings.] HELP! Thief! Stop him!
PO: [confronting the thief] Hey buddy where ya' goin'? Jail's that way! [Po points the sign in the wrong direction] Uh wait, it's, actually, that way... over... there.
[The thief attacks Po.]
MR. PING: Don't forget to spin the sign!
[The villagers continue to cheer for Po.]
MR. PING: People love spinning signs!
[Po fends off the thief, using the sign to his advantage. Po is able to send thet hief running, whilst recovering the Ladies' belongings.]
SONG: Thank you so much! This is everything we own!
PO: Pfft, that? No, heh heh, that was nothing. Just part of the whole Dragon Warrior job description thing. Heh heh heh.
SU: Wait, Dragon Warrior?! It's the honor of a thousand lifetimes to be in your presence!
PO: Whoa! That's a long time!
PO: H... hey, I'm Po. [Po points to his father with the sign.] And this is my dad.
SONG: As long I don't have to pick him up.
[Song confront Po.]
SONG: Po, would you show me around the village?
PO: Yes I would love to show you around! [Song puts an arm out, but Po begins walking away merrily.] Come on!
MR. PING: [Spinning the sign] Eat at Mr. Ping's Noodle Shop! [Mr. Ping mistimes his spinning, causing the sign to fall on his head. Su snickers as her plan is set in motion.]
[Later, while walking through the village, Song and Po come across an action figure cart. In Po's amazement, he begins to play with them. Song sighs, and in an attempt to get Po's attention, drops a handkerchief. Po picks it up and cleans his right armpit with it. Po realizes what he has done, and returns the handkerchief, smiling nervously. Song returns a smile in the same manner, and drops the handkerchief.]
[In the next scene, Mr. Ping plays and ehru as Song and Po eat noodles in Mr. Ping's Noodle Shop. In another attempt to get Po's attention, Song beings eating the same noodle as Po. However, Song's plan backfires as Po manages to consume all of Song's head into his mouth. Song hits Po several times with her parasol before Po realizes what he's done.]
[The next scene shows Song and Po at the top of the Jade Palace stairs, both sitting in woks.]
PO: Trust me!
[Po pushes Song down the stairs and soon follows. Po begins to make silly noises, causing Song to laugh nervously.]
[In the next scene, Song and Po are walking through a bamboo forest. Song gives Po a love letter containing a heart.]
PO: A heart! Wait until you see this...
[Po converts the heart into a picture of his butt.]
SONG: What is it? [Song opens the message] It looks like your...
PO: [Bending over in the background.] Eh?!
[Song laughs when she sees Po bent over, acting out the pose in the picture.]
[Later, Song and Po are sitting on a rock, leaning against each other.]
SONG: Well that was a fun day Po!
PO: [Nudging Song, embarrassed.] No..!
SONG: [Nudging Po back.] Yes it was!
PO: Oh, stop it! [Po, nudging Song back, accidentally pushed her off of the rock they are sitting on.] Oh! Sorry!
SONG: [Giggling] That's okay!
[Song begins to feel guilty about Su's plan to steal the Dragon Chalice.]
SONG: Po, there's something I need to tell you...
PO: You can tell me anything! We're like, best friends now!
SONG: Well, that's good, because I wanted to say... [Song is interrupted]
PO: You're like the first girl I've ever been best friends with!
SONG: Yes! I like you too! Which is why I can't stay...
PO: What? Why?!
SONG: About our dance troop, we're actually here...[Song is interrupted by Su, who appears in between herself and Po them.]
SU: Oh! There you two lovebirds are!
PO: Ha! Lovebirds... hah hah hah! Ye, y'right? [Po knocks Song off of the rock again.]
[Su confronts Song, hiding them behind a parasol.]
SU: So, did you ask him?
[Po interrupts Su.]
PO: Ask me what? If I can reenact the battle of Sorrow Hill with action figures? [Po crosses his arms.] Cause I can!
SU: You didn't get him to say yes?! Oh forget it. Leave this to me.
[Su confronts Po and begins to act sad.]
SU: It's just the Jade Palace is so big, and the sad reality of it is, we have no place to stay!
PO: But why?
SU: [Su begins to tell a story to convince Po to allow them entry into the Jade Palace] We once lived in a place darkened with evil. We spent most of our lives as captives, forced to dance for the amusement of the barbarian warlord.
PO: A rhinoceros warlord?!
SU: Actually it was a crocodile.
SU: For years we lived under his iron boot, dancing, dancing, DANCING, until one day we got a chance to escape. We ran, and we never looked back! After that, we thought our lives would be better...
SU: But we were wrong.
SU: We roamed from town to town, with no food, no comfort, searching for a place to call home, but everywhere we went, we were shunned. Now we're outcasts, without even a place for the night. And poor Song, the darkness frightens you so!
[Su waits for Po's response.]
SU: Po! Are you listening?!
[Po begins to daydream about saving the Ladies of the Shade.]
PO: But the magnificent Dragon Warrior, master of hospitality, would come to the rescue!
SU: Po?! Can you help us?!
PO: Uh, you know I am the Dragon Warrior right? I do help people and, Song is my friend, and... ah, what the heck! What's one night! [Po points to Su and Song.] You ladies are invited to stay at the Jade Palace!
SU: Oh! How wonderful!
[The twins appear next to Po, giggling.]
SU: Please allow us to show our thanks with a personal performance for you and the legendary Furious Five!
[Later in the Hall of Warriors.]
PO: Mantis, isn't it our duty to help poor unfortunates in need who happen to be amazingly awesome dancers doing, like, a free show?! Yeah!
TIGRESS: What do you know about these dancing ladies?
PO: That they're ladies, and they dance.
CRANE Shhh! Po!
TIGRESS: I don't trust them.
MONKEY: You don't trust anyone. You don't even trust the mailman and he's been coming here for thirty years!
TIGRESS: Planning something for thirty years...
PO: Shhh! I'm trying to watch here!
[The Ladies of the Shade continue dancing.]
[Through their captivating moves, Tigress notices that the Ladies of the Shade attempt to steal the Dragon Chalice.]
TIGRESS: [Gasping] Thieves!
PO: You always believe the worst about...
[The Furious Five leap in front of the Ladies of the Shade, causing Su to drop the chalice. Po gasps. Song sees Po's shock and a quick expression of guilt crosses her face before changing into an aggressive scowl.]
VIPER: All right Ladies, drop the act. Your performance is over!
SU: Actually, our performance is just about to start!
[All of the ladies' parasols open, revealing that the ribs of the parasols are blade-tipped. The Ladies of the Shade begin moving towards Po and the Furious Five, their blade parasols spinning like saws.]
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SU: Ladies, Attack!! [The ladies began to attack Po and the Five.]
[Po starts to argue with Song.]
PO: Song, why are you doing this?! I thought we were friends!
SONG: I tried to tell you...
PO: What?! That you're a liar and I'm a sucker?
SONG: No, Po. It's not like that!
PO: And to think how I showed you how my butt looks like a heart.
SONG: Something I will always treasure.
SU: Less talking, more hitting!
[Soon all the Ladies gather in a circle and purple smoke appears covering them. Po and the Five dive for the attack into the smoke but as soon as it disappears, the ladies are gone and Po and the Five are on top of each other.]
PO: Some show, huh!
[Everyone gets up.]
TIGRESS: Nice work, Po.
PO: I didn't know they were...
TIGRESS: What were you thinking?!
PO: They said they needed a place to stay! Because of the Warlord with an Iron... Boot...
CRANE: Po. They lied to you.
VIPER: They got away with Shifu's Dragon Chalice. Oogway gave that to him.
PO: Those lying... liars! Now the Hall of Warriors is wrecked and Master Shifu is gonna be back any time!
TIGRESS: We have to get Shifu's Dragon Chalice.
PO: You can count on that! I'm gonna teach those ladies a lesson. By myself. A solo mission. One panda army. Lone wolf.I'll go! Hyah! [Po accidentally kicks the stand that holds Shifu's vase of Wisdom.]
VIPER: Crane and I will go too. Maybe the rest of you can square with the Hall before Shifu returns.
TIGRESS: Fine. Luckily, we've had a lot of practice at cleaning up Po's messes.
[The Trio leave the Jade Palace and scent to find the ladies village at night.]
PO: I feel like I've been here before. This canyon has a name. What is it? Canyon of the Moon Rabbit? No... Ooh! Canyon of the Nine Headed Black Horse! No... [All listening to the winds in the Canyon]. Canyon of the Shrieking Wind! Yeah! [All being picked up and blown away by the wind.] No!
PO: Oohf! [Po gets hit by a large rock.]
CRANE: Grab hold of my legs!
[All flown towards the village.]
PO: The Ladies of the Shade!
CRANE: If we storm in there, we'll never find the chalice.
PO: I think I know a lady who can help us! Take us down!
[all groaning after a rough landing.]
[Po disguised himself as a lady.]
GUARD: Halt! What do you want?!
CRANE: This will never work.
CRANE: Okay, maybe once.
PO: [Po's high voice] I'm just a wondering parasol lady, hoping to join the Ladies of the Shade.
GUARD: Hm... I've never seen a parasol lady quite like you before.
PO: Thank you.
GUARD: Hardly a lady my size.
PO: Ohohoho, you are silly. [Po hits the guard with Viper.]
PO: Very [Po hits the guard with Viper] silly. [Po hits the guard with Viper multiple times] silly silly, silly! Silly! [Po hits the guard with Viper harder than before]
GUARD: Hey! Wait a minute!
PO: Sorry, no can do. [Po snatches the guard's spear out of his hands and throws it away. Then the trio knock out the guard at the gate.]
PO: That was awesome! We're like a dynamic duo. Only with three, who fight evil. And pretend to be a lady.
CRANE: I'm not sure I fall at all that.
[Trio enter the village. ]
PO: [Po's high voice] Hello! Oh hi. Hi there. Hello! Oh, hi. Oh I love your shirt. Ohohoh, hello! [Normal voice] They're buying it! They're buying it. I'm a pretty special lady. [High voice] Hello, ladies. [Spots Song] There's Song!
CRANE: Po, we gotta find the Chalice.
PO: She gave me an owey on my heart!
[Po walking up to the Twins and Song.]
TWINS: Here for your pedicure!
PO: A pedicure?! That sounds horrible! [Po relaxing while being pedicured.] That's nice.
TWIN 1: Wow! Look at her toe nails!
TWIN 2: I've never seen feet this mangled before!
SONG: Ugh!, my feet! We just walked back from the Valley of Peace.
PO: [HIgh voice] Excuse me. But how was the Valley of Peace?
SONG: Oh! It was... Uh...
PO: Fun? Successful? Did you meet anyone there? Like, maybe someone who [HIgh voice becoming normal little by little] you became friends with, and then decided to trick and like, totally deceive them and make them feel bad, after they gave you a butt shaped like-a-heart?!
SONG: What do you mean? I... Po?!
PO: No! Uh... [High voice] No! Po? Who's Po? I mean... I... Uh... Stepping away. [Walks away from the Ladies]
[Po accidentally bumps into Su and falls over her.] [Po sees the Chalice]
PO: [High voice] Su.
SU: You... know my name?
PO: Who... Who doesn't know a Su and her amazing parasol dancing? I'm Ling Ling uh Ming uh Ling Ling.
PO: Here to...
[Ladies approach Po]
PO: Uh... Dance for you!
SU: Wonderful! And dance you will. Music!
[Music starts playing and Po dances for the Ladies.]
TWIN 1: Huh! She's light on her feet.
[Ladies start clapping ]
[Song feeling grieved and sad to left.]
PO: Okay, I got'em where I want'em. I'm gonna dance over by the Chalice. Viper, grab it. Then, Crane, grab Viper and take off.
CRANE: What about you?
PO: I'll distract them so you guys can get out. Then, we'll meet up later.
[Po nears the Dragon Chalice.]
[Po takes the Chalice behind his back, but realizes that he got a hold of Su's head instead.]
SU: I think I might know you... Dragon Warrior!
PO: Viper, Crane! GO!
[Viper, Crane and Po reveal themselves to the Ladies. Viper and Crane take the Dragon Chalice and fly away.]
[Po gets rid of his make up with a hankerchief and then throws it towards one of the Ladies.]
[Po and the Ladies start fighting]
[Po trips on the bucket and ends up on the chair surrounded.]
PO: Ooh, uh... That was quick. I was thinking a little bigger finish.
(Ladies growling at Po, the open their umbrellas and release the steel spikes.]
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TWINS: You'll never get out of here alive!
[Po kicks the Twins]
PO: Oh, yes, I will, because I'm like, nothing you've ever seen. I'm the Dragon Wa- [Steps on a bucket and get his foot stuck.] Ow oww!
[Po fights the Twins.]
VIPER [To Crane] They got Po.
CRANE [To Viper] He'll be alright. We need to take the Dragon Chalice out first.
[Viper and Crane fly out of the village escaping with the Dragon Chalice.]
[Po and the Ladies keep fighting.]
[One of the Ladies throws a parasol with a rope tied to it towards Crane and Viper and makes them fall down by pulling the rope.][The Chalice can be seen rolling on the floor.]
PO: Come on! Nothing's gonna surprise me. [Viper and Crane fall over him and knock him to the ground.] 'Cept maybe that.
PO: The Chalice!
[All of them go chasing for the Chalice and fight for it.]
PO: Let's dance.
[All of them keep fighting.]
PO: Where's the Chalice?
CRANE: Viper's got it.
[Po looks at Viper and sees that she swallowed up the Chalice.]
PO: That is so cool!
SU: She has the Chalice.
[One of the Twins goes for Viper to get the Chalice. She grabs Viper's tail and makes her vomit the Chalice]
PO: You guys, go. [Crane flies away with Viper] Meet me at the canyon.
[Po fights the Ladies by himself again.]
[[Po gets cornered and the Ladies of the Shade shoot out mini parasols.]]
PO: Whoa! Tiny parasols! Cool!
[The Ladies of the Shade continue to shoot multiple mini parasols at Po.]
PO: Ahh! Eeee! Not cool!
[Su orders the ladies to attack.]
[Song defends Po against the Ladies of the Shade.]
PO: Song! You're here!
SONG: I heard you could friend.
[Song fights the Ladies and kicks the mini parasols]
PO: Come on!
[Po and Song try to escape but Su gets in the way.]
SU: What do you think you're doing?
PO: Well, you're evil so we're escaping.
SU: You'll have to get past me first.
PO: That's easy. One of you, two of us... [Hundreds of Ladies of the Shade appear in front of Po and Song and open their parasols.] And hundreds of them...
SONG: What should we do?
[Po cracks his neck and does a combat position]
PO: Run! [Po grabs Song, puts her over his shoulder and runs towards the exit of the village.]
Ladies of the Shade: Hyahhh!
[The Ladies run towards Po and Song]
CRANE: Po! Hands! [Crane drops the Chalice onto Po's hands] Let's go!
[Song, Po, Viper and Crane are trying to escape the Ladies' Village.]
[Po recalls the wind of the Valley and thinks of a brilliant plan to get rid of all the ladies.]
PO: That's it! The wind!
SONG: Po! What are you doing?!
PO: The wind! That's it, The Wind!
SONG: Po! What are you doing?
PO: Trust me, and close your umbrella!
[Song closes her umbrella as the rest of the Ladies open theirs]
[The wind picks up all the ladies and send them flying into the air.]
[Su gets picked up by the wind and it hits her towards a large rock.]
[Su gets tied up on the rock]
PO: So, what if you and I head back to the Valley of Peace, mm?
SONG: Actually, I was thinking the Ladies need a new leader. Someone that can get them away from the life of thievery and into honest work.
PO: Well, I'd love to, but I got a lot in my plate right now as the Dragon Warrior.
SONG: I was talkin' about me.
PO: Oh! Uh, yeah! That makes a lot more sense. You'd be perfect.
[Wind comes back]
SONG: Sounds like my ride's here.
PO: Yeah... I uh... have a little something for you. [Po gives Song the scroll with the butt like shaped heart]
SONG: I will always treasure it.
PO: It's my butt.
SONG: I know. [Song gives Po a kiss. She then opens her parasol and flies away] Good bye, Po!
[Po waves good bye to Song]
[The trio returns with the Dragon Chalice.]
PO: We did it! We got the Dragon Chalice back.
[Shifu catches Po by surprise and he almost drops the Chalice.]
PO: Uh! Master Shifu! You're back!
SHIFU: Yes, and trying to rest from the journey. Please lower your voice. Has anyone seen the Dragon Chalice? I have a ceremony coming up.
PO: Uh... Shooting star! [Po tries to put down the Chalice in its place before Shifu notices.] Oh! Uh... Is this the Chalice you were looking for?
SHIFU: Yes. Is that... lipstick?
PO: Lip...Lipstick? What? Uh... Who uses lipstick? A girl that's who and is none of those here.
[Viper and Tigress look at Po angrily.]
PO: Enjoy your Dragon Chalice, Master Shifu.
[Shifu walks towards the Jade Palace's door. When he looks inside the Chalice, he finds a mini parasol. He grabs it and shows it to the Five, asking for answers. However, they all have left]
[End of Act 3]
[End of Transcript]